dprincesswannabe

11 Misty Morning -

dprincesswannabe

I have to be tired. I should give up. I finally have to admit to myself that I lost you and all efforts made to bring you back will end up futile. You find me unbearable like that, almost loathing. Life is unfair. Dealing with this reality is the tough job I have to start working on. I am not a mind reader. Not even a deep thinker, or deep in words when I talk. But I know that every shallow word comes from the heart. And need not to be high faluting to be true, to sound good, or for you to love to hear it. Because words are just words. You smile when you hear them spoken, or get butterflies when you read what's written. But actions serves as confirmation. The action is what engraves itself to your heart so deeply, you long for it, you find it, and sometimes you do all you can to make it happen. It never did, it never will. So stop, believing, even lingering on words that are never meant. He is a liar, how could you believe even on a vowel that comes out of his mouth. Yes true, you are never the kind of person who kills, or who slaps a man who hurt you, or pull an involved party's hair. You know you want to forgive, and eventually you will act on it. Life is too short and death certain. So stop holding the pain, let go and be free. Be happy for the people around you, admire the beauty of people as they are admired by others. Be free. Let go. And finally be happy. One way or another, even if when you act tough and want to rebel against the world, happiness will find you. You cannot escape from it. God is good in that way. If you are to believe on words alone. Believe in God's word. It'll all be worth it.

I wanted to forward my life's track and get to the best part: recovery. But I don't think I will ever feel the victory of that moment, if I don't feel what I feel now. Recognize what you're going through. But stop lingering. Stop saying what's not necessary. Even if you're sorry with things you say. Words are so strong, it can pierce a person's ego, soul and heart. Let it go Chike. Time to move forward without looking back. It'll be a long path to take, but you know you'll get better things ahead of you. 

dprincesswannabe

Long time no Tabulas. I cannot leave this site. But I'm more active on tumblr now. Follow me. http://chiketita.tumblr.com

Apparently, someone left a comment on my last post. Here's an update though, we're still hanging out, although not together, I keep up with his shit and he keeps up with mine. As long as that cycle keeps going, I do not see the rainbow of good life shining down. LoL. Thanks for the concern though SGL much appreciated. Who are you there? I honestly don't know people from red cross aside from my college friends. Kindly introduce yourself. I'm intrigued.

dprincesswannabe

Even though you get ignored, you don't get a message until 5 in the afternoon, no replies or small words from your Yahoo! Messenger, you got to suck it all up. This is what you want. And he'll be that kind of guy forever, that's what he says so. Do as he says, "just relax". As if you got anything better to do, coz complaining/demanding will only keep him astray from you. In the end, suck it all up and relax. I hope that before I sleep it will be better, that he'll be extra sweet like he always is at the end of the day. I want to tell a friend, I just don't know if it's his advice I'm seeking or just the comfort that someone will listen and tell you that "GUY" is not treating you the proper way. "GUY" apparently gives advices of this kind to people, what he fails to realize is he does it to his own girl. If in the case, I believe I am his "GIRL".

dprincesswannabe

Uh wait. I tried to be so cool acting as if I'm not so ecstatic about passing the board. But dude! DAMN! I PASSED. DREADED. FUCKING (sorry for the word) HARD ASS BOARD EXAM. I am now a Nurse. Oh that's a big word. Nurse. So much responsibilities: I would not be watched anymore while doing procedures. If I get my training, I can insert IVs, I can revive lives. LOL! I am ecstatic. God has given me such joy but I know a greater responsibility comes along with the title. I want to be different. I want to be a good nurse. I want to make changes. I want to be a pleasing, charming, well-liked nurse, not the usual "sungit"/snob ones we often see in the hospital. Oh good Lord, if you'll give me the chance to be able to practice my field this year, I promise you that I'll do my best and I'll work in your ways. Thank You. To my parents, my family, my friends who became constant support (nursing is not as easy as it is spelled), my instructors, my school. AIYAH! I MADE IT. I WORKED HARD, SLEEPLESS NIGHTS! This is just the begining though, so much more to work on. And hell yeah, with God's help there's nothing I can't conquer! THANK YOU LORD GOD.

dprincesswannabe

There's always a rainbow at the end of a gloomy day.

28662 SOBREVIÑAS, KATHERINE ROS VALDUEZA

at  8:41:10 PM I am officially a registered nurse

I think that people around me are happier, my mom, sisters, cousins. I want to hear my dad's voice though. It sucks that I could not get a hug from him as he is far away from this poor country. By the way, my heart goes for those who didn't make it, everything has a purpose, for what that is only God knows. CONGRATULATIONS fellow RNs!:D

On a lighter note, after fighting with him, he called me up gave me a much appropriate "congratulations" than earlier. He invited me to a dinner date. I was so touched. I hope it works out. Even though something on me kept on negating. I believe that if you set yourself into something you want, it'll work that way. So, I want to be with you, I'll try to relax, change and be the person you say I should be- I can do that, perfectly utters how much I love you.

State of the Nation Address. SONA.

If I was still a student, I would be happy upon hearing that it's coming up. Because for sure, classes will be suspended. But I'm a recent graduate of nursing. Recently announced registered nurse. I'm unemployed.

SONAt excited Gloria. SONAt.

dprincesswannabe

I want to cry out to a stranger. Im lost for words. Nothing to say. I just want to cry.

dprincesswannabe

Hi! I'm here at Changi airport in Singapore. I would've love to post this early on but I could not access the free wi-fi around here. John's sing mobile has no load so I can't receive the SMS that says my password, bummer I know.

Well, last night, I fought with him again. I was back to my old, pushy, self. Please. I just need a breather and not do it anymore in the Philippines. Apparently, we're not together, not official or whatever. An idea which I'm not comfortable with. I do hope everything changes soon. I'm just not used to uncertainty. How can I entrust myself to someone who doesn't even recognize me as his girlfriend in the first place. Anyhow, the more I push it, the more he gets disappointed. So I'm choosing amongst these options. Feel free to give light to me on this dilemma. Should I?:

a. relax, give it a shot, trust him
b. give him an ulltimatum, either we get official or Im gone for good
c. relax while entertaining other people, since I can't be stuck with him, we're not official.

My recent post was just shameful. We're not even together and I talked about the ins and outs of a good partner. gah. really. how shameful was that. I was acting like I was his GF. Ewww. Really now? I'm not? Haaay (

Oh so I met up with him, an got pissed for asking ths friend of his to have coffee. I hated the idea. I got mad.