CHIKEISM: My way of life..

dprincesswannabe

I have to be tired. I should give up. I finally have to admit to myself that I lost you and all efforts made to bring you back will end up futile. You find me unbearable like that, almost loathing. Life is unfair. Dealing with this reality is the tough job I have to start working on. I am not a mind reader. Not even a deep thinker, or deep in words when I talk. But I know that every shallow word comes from the heart. And need not to be high faluting to be true, to sound good, or for you to love to hear it. Because words are just words. You smile when you hear them spoken, or get butterflies when you read what's written. But actions serves as confirmation. The action is what engraves itself to your heart so deeply, you long for it, you find it, and sometimes you do all you can to make it happen. It never did, it never will. So stop, believing, even lingering on words that are never meant. He is a liar, how could you believe even on a vowel that comes out of his mouth. Yes true, you are never the kind of person who kills, or who slaps a man who hurt you, or pull an involved party's hair. You know you want to forgive, and eventually you will act on it. Life is too short and death certain. So stop holding the pain, let go and be free. Be happy for the people around you, admire the beauty of people as they are admired by others. Be free. Let go. And finally be happy. One way or another, even if when you act tough and want to rebel against the world, happiness will find you. You cannot escape from it. God is good in that way. If you are to believe on words alone. Believe in God's word. It'll all be worth it.

I wanted to forward my life's track and get to the best part: recovery. But I don't think I will ever feel the victory of that moment, if I don't feel what I feel now. Recognize what you're going through. But stop lingering. Stop saying what's not necessary. Even if you're sorry with things you say. Words are so strong, it can pierce a person's ego, soul and heart. Let it go Chike. Time to move forward without looking back. It'll be a long path to take, but you know you'll get better things ahead of you.